Friday, 26 January 2007
Can you imagine the whooping and hollering around the tour when Tiger announced he may miss The Open this year if it clashed with the birth of "The Tiger Cub"?
"If it happens, it happens. If it crosses over, it crosses over," said the world number one.
"That's the most important thing, not another golf tournament. If she's going to have it during the week of the Open, I just don't go."
So we may just have another name on the Claret Jug.. Casey..Donald..Monty??
Ok, so it might make it a bit more interesting if we have 6 guys within a shot of each other in the final round rather than Tiger needing a 12 up the last to secure victory.
But we would hate Carnoustie 07 being rembered as the golfing version of The 1980 Olympics (boycotted by a number of countries, namely the good ol' US of A).
So come on Mrs Woods...it's down to you - no curries mid July (or is that just an old wives tale? - let us know!)
Why...I almost choked on my G&T!!
Women? Allowed in the R&A St Andrews Clubhouse?
"Over My Dead Body!" came the cry from the corriders.
Well, it's happening.
From the 2nd to the 5th of August, the Women's British Open takes place over the legendary links.
"The championship clubhouse will be open to all competitors, caddies, and officials involved with the Open," R&A spokesman Stewart McDougall said on Thursday, his teeth apparently unclenched.
One has to chuckle at the prospect of Colonnel Major Bannatyne Farqhuar getting ready for lunch in a makeshift "locker-room" whilst the ladies indulge in the wonderful hospitality that will be offered to all concerned.
The committee may decide to either widen the car-park area or employ part-time "car parkers" to ensure no damage is done to the sacred building on their arrival.
We are all doomed!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, 19 January 2007
This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win....
I don't like the glamour. I just like the game....
I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games...
The most important shot in golf is the next one...
Thursday, 18 January 2007
Most of them were either told by Ronnie Corbett in his chair 25 years ago or used by Jimmy "I didn't get my daughter into Television " Tarbuck at the london Palladium.
Having said that, we are often sent golf "funnies" and occasionally they do make us chuckle.
We'll post the ones that do tickle our sides so keep them coming.
Where would you be without a laugh?...probably here!
Forgive me father, I used the f word this week.Ah, my son, tell me the circumstances which caused you to use the F-word, after all, I can sometimes understand a person being provoked into using it.Well, I was golfing, and I hit a beautiful tee shot that sailed straight as an arrow for 300 yards but then suddenly veered into the woods.Ah, that is when you used the F-word? I can appreciate your frustration as I am a golfer myself.No, I stayed calm at that point, father, I then hit a perfect shotout of the woods, but it landed in a bunker.Ah, now I can understand you saying the F-word at that point.No, Father, I remained calm even then, I got out my sand wedge and hit a perfect shot out of the sand right at the pin, but suddenly the ball stopped an inch from the cup.Ah, that is when you used the F-word, how frustrating said the priest.No, Father, I was still calm at this point.Don't tell me you missed the f**king putt said the priest
Tuesday, 16 January 2007
Sunday, 14 January 2007
Appleby enters Wie debate
As Michelle Wie looks to compete with the men after a less than successful 2006 ( although let us not forget the multi million $ sponsorship deals and endless appearance fees) , Stuart Appleby has made his feelings pretty clear.
"She's not ready for it. She's certainly not proving anything except that she can't play with the men at her level right now" exclaimed the not at all typical 21st century Aussie prior to the Sony Open in Hawaii.
Well, we look forward to the sight of women burning bras all over the world in protest at these out-spoken comments.
Perhaps Stuart "Can you iron this" Appleby will make a full apology before the Masters and agree to play on the Ladies Tour for a year.
Then again, perhaps we will look at her last 8 rounds when playing against the men (75, 77, 78, 79,77,81,81 & 80) and wonder if with scores like that, she would make a better opening batsman and perhaps Stuart has a point.
Michelle...the challenge has been made...prove us wrong.. love!
To be fair to Monty, it's a wonder he doesn't stand up in these never ending press conferences he gives and when asked the inevitable question, "can you win a major this year?", start throwing haymakers at the hacks.
"I was second in Majors in 2005 and 2006 so you would be foolish to rule me out of winning one this year" Colin quipped at Thursdays press conference to launch his new sponsorship deal with financial services company Aberdeen.
Well I'm afraid that we fall into the "foolish" category because for the first time in 10 years, we will be puting our money where our heads tell us to and not our hearts.
Surely Colin striding up the 18th at Carnoustie with a 2 shot cushion on the final day would be one of the most memorable moments in the history of our great game.
It won't happen.
Some might say that one would be more likely to see Sooty's feet in 2007 than Monty winning a Major!!
Whether it's the pace of ther greens, the crowd moving or someone opening a b@**@y KitKat, there will be some reason for Colin not winning.
Mind you, the omens are good..he holds the record at Carnoustie.
We might just stick a tenner on him!
Monday, 8 January 2007
Friday, 5 January 2007
Wednesday, 3 January 2007
We wept like girls when "The Dazzler" stepped onto the 1st tee at the K Club and cheered like men possessed when Woosie desperately tried to wipe champagne from his eyes after the final day.
We pissed ourselves on Christmas Day when watching Doug Sanders running for cover on the 18th at St Andrews to avoid Jacks flying putter - great DVD mum!!!.
And we nostalgically recite the "and the meek shall inherit the earth" dialogue as spoke by Mr Allis as Larry Mize chipped in at Augusta all these years ago, after a few pints.
Yep...we are "Golf Perverts".
But in this day and age, we see journey men making more money each year than a small African Nations GDP and with all the identical swings (apologies Jim) and near enough identical clobber, please forgive us for appreciating the "other" side of the game.
We ask ouselves:
How can Ivor Robson go 12 hours without a tolilet break at the Open?
Which 2 pros would you most like to see in a fight? (our choice is Poulter and Pavin)!!
Why do we find the stuffy and very old fashioned members clubs politically incorrect but still very amuzing.
So enjoy, tell your friends about us, share your golfing stories with us and stay sober..ish!!!!!!!!!